My name's Jamie. Here's a quote that I like: “The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” -Edmund Burke
- Women can do everything men can do.
- Men can do everything women can do.
- Women are not a special interest group.
- Women should not be given any special privileges men don’t get.
- Men should not be given any special privileges women don’t get.
- Women have every opportunity in society men do.
- Men have every opportunity in society women do.
- Women deal with being called sluts sometimes.
- Men deal with being called creeps sometimes.
- Women stop fighting men about “male privilege.”
- Men stop fighting women about “female privilege.”
- We all stop talking about gender inequality
OK, I’ll go through this in the simplest way possible.
Prejudice is generally frowned upon, as it perpetuates inequality.
Racism = prejudice based on race.
Sexism = prejudice based on sex.
??? = prejudice based on one’s sexual orientation (help me out here; I’m looking for a term that encompasses all of it, not just one type like homophobia, transphobia, etc.).
Summary: judging people based on traits they did not choose, cannot change, and has nothing to do with one’s personality or capabilities is wrong.
Applying some kind of preconception to all black people just because they’re black, using “black” as an insult or using any slur that stands for “black” makes you a racist piece of shit
Judging a single black person based on their personality, views, etc. (NOT because they’re black) and not extending this judgment to all black people does NOT make you racist.
Applying some kind of preconception to all Asian people just because they’re Asian, using “Asian” as an insult or using any slur that stands for “Asian” makes you a racist piece of shit
Judging a single Asian person based on their personality, views, etc. (NOT because they’re Asian) and not extending this judgment to all Asian people does NOT make you racist.
Applying some kind of preconception to all Hispanic people just because they’re Hispanic, using “Hispanic” as an insult or using any slur that stands for “Hispanic” makes you a racist piece of shit
Judging a single Hispanic person based on their personality, views, etc. (NOT because they’re Hispanic) and not extending this judgment to all Hispanic people does NOT make you racist.
So far, I assume you all agree. Which is what makes me wonder how so many people don’t realize that:
Applying some kind of preconception to all white people just because they’re white, using “white” as an insult or using any slur that stands for “white” makes you a racist piece of shit
Judging a single white person based on their personality, views, etc. (NOT because they’re white) and not extending this judgment to all white people does NOT make you racist.
Now let’s apply this to sexism as well. Everyone seems to agree on that:
Applying some kind of preconception to all women just because they’re women, using “woman” as an insult or using any slur that stands for “woman” makes you a sexist piece of shit.
Judging a single woman based on her personality, views, etc. (NOT because she’s a woman) and not extending this judgment to all women does NOT make you sexist.
Which should make it obvious that:
Applying some kind of preconception to all men just because they’re men, using “man” as an insult or using any slur that stands for “man” makes you a sexist piece of shit.
Judging a single man based on his personality, views, etc. (NOT because he’s a man) and not extending this judgment to all men does NOT make you sexist.
I can’t be assed to do any more copypasting; I believe every functional human should get the idea at this point. But go ahead, apply this to sexualities too.
Finally, I’ll have to preemptively address the predictable complaint: “but men/whites/heterosexuals are privileged!” I personally disagree with that overly simplistic statement, but even presuming you are correct, trying to justify your sexism/racism/whatever with that claim is bigoted in and of itself by exhibiting prejudice towards everyone belonging to a certain group. Perhaps certain groups are better off in society, but that doesn’t mean that everyone is in on it. If you think say, society favors men, fight those people in positions of power who ensure that it’s so, not every single man who dares to ever disagree with you in anything. (This also touches upon the fact that all oppression is rooted in classism instead of racism/sexism/any other form of prejudice, but that topic is beyond the scope of this rant.)
(Inspired by this video).
Women are at a disproportionate risk of:
- Sexual violence, including forced rape
- Honor killings
Men are at a disproportionate risk of:
- Capital punishment
- Child genital mutilation
- Police brutality and oppression
- Violent theft or extortion
- Injust incarceration
- Death through poverty/homelessness
- Being sent to die at war
- Being sent to die at war as children
- Being killed or maimed by invading forces during war
- State oppression
- Gang violence
- Hate crimes (involving other characteristics such as race or sexuality)
- Workplace injury and death
- Intolerable levels of physical labour contributing to early death
- Early death due to a high-stress and demanding lifestyle
- Having their suffering compounded by being deprived of support
- Having violence against them of all types shown in popular media as trivial
- Having violence against them of all types shown in popular media as humour
Men and women are at a roughly equal risk of
- Domestic violence
- Sexual coercion
- Child molestation
- Emotional abuse
Let’s look at two classic sexist and oppressive stereotypes.
The one you probably know about:
Women are expected to be beautiful. They are objectified on this basis, and pressured into fulfilling this expectation, often leading to unhappiness. If they fail, they are treated as less of a woman as a result, and will generally be treated worse and will find it harder to find friends or a partner.
The one you probably don’t:
Men are expected to be successful. They are objectified on this basis, and pressured into fulfilling this expectation, often leading to unhappiness. If they fail, they are treated as less of a man as a result, and will generally be treated worse and will find it harder to find friends or a partner.
This is what we were naturally selected for in the early days of our species, and the commercial society that we live in has just made both expectations ridiculous. There is also, thankfully, now a slight overlap (successful women and beautiful men are appreciated), but for now the two sets of expectations can still be seen as quite distinct.
Now, let’s see the four ways this bias can cause suffering:
- Women who aren’t beautiful are at a disadvantage
- Men who aren’t successful suffer are at a disadvantage
- Women who want to be successful are at a disadvantage
- Men who want to be beautiful are at a disadvantage
So why do we only care about number 1 and 3? Why don’t we notice that misandry is the equal and opposite partner to misogyny, and that the existence of two roles necessitate that the two means of oppression are closely linked and never act alone? Why don’t we acknowledge that the patriarchal stereotypes oppress men too?
Well, there’s another stereotype.
You’ll have heard of this one too:
Men are strong, women are weak.
In normal life, this again oppresses both men and women equally and oppositely. Women are patronised as weak and find it hard to succeed as a result. Being considered ‘strong’ is not inherently good, however, and so men suffer as well. On the surface it seems like being allowed to lead and fight and succeed is pure happiness and privilege, but it’s expected, not allowed. Men are expected to lead, and fight, and succeed. We’ve looked at how the last one causes suffering above, and a quick glance at history shows that the first two stereotypes have been fatal for literally millions of men who have been forced to compete and kill one another, whilst ‘weak’ women were excused. Privilege, once again, works both ways. Even today men are expected to fight, are given the more dangerous jobs, die earlier as a result, are rejected and seen as less of a man if they aren’t powerful or wealthy, are constantly ridiculed if they don’t live up to the tough guy stereotypes, and face the issue of chivalry (which, in its extreme cases, can be fatal). So yes, surface impressions aside, these stereotypes aren’t great for anybody.
Outside of ‘normal life’, bias against men gets worse. You see, these stereotypes bring connotations, and will therefore be translated for purpose. When the purpose is justice - including both legal justice systems and activism for social justice (including, unfortunately, the gender equality arena) - this is a big issue. ‘Men are strong’ becomes ‘men are the more likely violent criminals’, and ‘woman are weak’ becomes ‘women are the more likely innocent victims’. In a court of law this can lead to bias, and men face unfairly disproportionate prosecutions as a result.
Other systems of justice fair little better. Feminism, the dominant voice for gender equality, is unfortunately made up of individuals who are just as biased as an jury - and once again, men suffer. Feminists are also more inclined to see men as the aggressor and women as the victim. This leads to the model of men oppressing women to be adopted for all sexism, and that in turn leads to the dismissal of numbers 2 and 4. Male suffering is dismissed, and so once again men find it much harder to find justice; whether this is in individual cases (feminists, like the rest of us, are much more ready to see men as rapists rather than rape victims, and that causes real issues) or in terms of the bigger picture (blaming men for the patriarchy is not cool, because not only does it stop egalitarians from fighting the big problems with misandry, but it encourages them to add to it by perpetuating wholly unwarranted anti-male sentiments).
Lots of men seeking justice therefore choose to reject the feminist movement for one which actually addresses their needs, such as anti-feminist egalitarianism or equalism or masculism. I chose both, and identify proudly as both a masculist and a feminist - but if you are to walk in feminist circles, be wary. The moment you hear the mocking sarcasm of ‘what about the menz?!’, or the apathetic dismissal of ‘mansplainer’, or lazy exclusion on the basis of ‘male privilege’ (as if female privilege isn’t an equal obstacle on issues concerning both genders), then you’d do well to get out of there. Anti-masculism, and the misandric stereotypes which cause it, are alive and well in the feminist movement. Handle with care.
“Eve Daughter” - a radical feminist blogger who posted a list claiming that almost every male is a rape-supporter because they fall under this list.
And further claims that you’re still a rape-supporter “even if you’d never done anything else on the list”.
Read the list, then read her rebuttal to people’s comments. This is absolutely disgusting (via jondek)
[Filed under: Reasons Why I Can’t Take Feminists Seriously]
I just read an article that says that women are more likely to divorce their husband if he stays at home taking care of the house and the kids. Several wives were quoted as saying that they felt their husbands weren’t being real “men” by taking up traditionally female housework. They were less sexually attracted to their husbands and lost respect for them because they weren’t doing the “providing”, which old sexist customs demand the man of the house do.
And I’m like, what the actual fuck???? I absolutely abhor children and despise them with every piece of hatred in my body. But whenever I see a man being nice to a child I just melt. Not to mention I don’t clean, like, at all. I have no problem stewing in my own filth in a “bachelor” pad. I don’t mind doing the cooking, but any partner of mine will have to do the cleaning. In my mind, I have extra respect for a stay-at-home dad, not less. There are a lot of social stigmas attached to dads at home (as proven by the article) and so any man who is willing to get crap from his friends for the benefit for his family is absolutely worth my respect. Plus, there is nothing sexier than a man who is willing to let me have my independence at work, then take care of me and my house when I get home.
These women are pathetic. Wannabe homemaker men, come and get me.
Yep, pretty much. Interesting how there’s still this huge push to get women into certain field of the work force, yet nobody is doing anything to help out the men who want to be full-time parents. Men are totally not discriminated against at all though, because it just doesn’t work that way. *cough*
The following is a response I wrote to someone who was angry that “misandry” isn’t a word. I decided it would be put to better use on my blog than his. [TW: rape, abuse, and violence]
Sexism, by definition includes institutional oppression. Women do not have institutional power over men. Women can be prejudiced and hateful towards men, but they cannot be sexist. (This is the same with racism: people can be prejudiced against white people, but not racist.)This may seem like a matter of semantics, but I’ve seen far too many people assume that “no sexism against men” = “men have no problems.”
No decent feminist claims that men have no problems. No decent feminist denies that men also face some forms of injustice. The fact is, patriarchy hurts everyone, but it doesn’t hurt everyone to the same degree. Men face injustice, but as a group they hold privileges most men will never even realize exist. Women face far more injustice at the systemic level. Men comprise the majority of every major social institution, and as a result society already speaks from a male viewpoint. Don’t tell me I need to devote equal time to men, because society already gives them far more than an equal voice. Women, on the other hand, need to have more of a voice, so I’m trying to fix that.
Yes, men are forced into gender roles, but this is primarily because being feminine or “acting like a woman” is seen as demeaning for a man (i.e. male = better than female.) By fighting for women’s rights to choose their own gender identity I’m fighting for “masculine” and “feminine” to be equally valued, which would free men just as it would women.
Yes, men are held to unrealistic body ideals, but their perceived social value is far less dependent on how well they measure up than women’s. Ending society’s obsession with “perfect” physical appearance for women will end the same social mechanisms that create pressures for men to look a certain way.
Yes, women commit violent crimes against men, but these are rare in comparison with men’s violent crimes against women. For every woman who cuts off a man’s penis there are hundreds of women mutilated in countless horrible ways by men. Men and women do not have an equal chance of being abused/raped/killed/seriously injured by their significant others. However, if society would stop blaming victims, all victims would benefit. Sexism exists when a jury decides a woman “was asking for it” but also when a marriage counselor refuses to believe a small woman could physically abuse her tall husband (women are inherently weaker/gentler than men —> there’s no way she could have hurt him.)
I am not choosing to fight for women and saying “fuck the rest.” By fighting for women I am helping eradicate systems that are harmful to everyone.
What dictionary are you using? The feminist one? Because all of the actual dictionaries are against your “definition” of sexism. Just because sexism can include oppression does not mean that it always includes oppression.
Women are far better off in today’s society than men are. I know you’ve said that ~patriarchy~ hurts men too and that men have problems, but you act as if they don’t have as many, which is bullshit.
You completely pulled that statement about women being more likely to be victims of domestic violence out of your ass, because the facts show otherwise (more here). You can’t stop violence against men by stopping violence against women, you have to pay attention to both. They don’t go hand in hand.
Society doesn’t blame victims. Society reflects on the issue and how it could’ve been prevented because that’s how you keep it from happening again. You can’t teach men not to rape, you can’t teach women not to rape. Rapists aren’t mentally stable enough to be taught, therefore, you teach the mentally stable ones how to prevent assault and protect themselves. You don’t sit there like a moron and say, “Well it shouldn’t have happened.” Of course not, but I don’t think the rapist gives a shit about what he should and shouldn’t have done. He’s a fucking rapist. All you’re doing is throwing around your “TEACH MEN NOT TO RAPE!!!” bullshit as if the majority of men are too stupid to figure that out on their own.
It’s cute how you sit here and act like your apathy towards male issues is actually helping them, when in reality their voices are being silenced more and more every day.
Perfect commentary, as always.
The part about “institutional power” is interesting, and a post coming down in the next day or so from me actually addresses exactly how and why that definition is inherently bullshit. If no decent feminist does these things, why do I constantly see feminists doing these things and why are you not kicking them out? You fall, like many others into the trap of categorizing “problems” as a “women thing” and then stating that all the problems that men have are basically just outgrowths of the problems women have. You also tacitly imply that men are the cause of these original problems for women.
Your idea that removing these problems for women will end these problems for men is ridiculous. While this is true in some (very limited) cases, in most it’s utter shite. Consider the reproductive rights debate, and how women gaining legal reproductive choice has “wonderfully” done away with the problems of paternity fraud, contraceptive sabotage and forced parenthood for men. (Oh, wait, it hasn’t.)
As for systemic injustice, have you looked at the statistics from the legal system where men are far more likely to be charged for a crime given the same amount of evidence, and gets on average a 50% longer sentence for the exact same crime? Of course not. Have you looked at the statistics regarding prison rape, which the justice system goes out of its way to utterly ignore? Have you looked at the occupational hazard statistics (as mentioned above) and looked into the “glass cellar” theory? Of course not. (inb4 some dumbass gives me the “well the justice system bias is just because we see women as weak and incapable” reframing crap.)
Have you noticed that as a society we have a bad habit of claiming that it’s “sexism against women” when it’s men who are the ones getting hurt?
Regardless, take a look at my post about “Sexism = Institutional Power + Prejudice” in a bit. Hopefully you’ll learn something.